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Couples & Daughter hookup looking for love with a side of sex Franky w4m I am doing my best not to contact you. It is so hard because I miss you so much. I have been told you found someone to replace me and that is hard to deal with. However, I don't want to ruin that for you either. If you have a chance at happiness with someone who can get along with your family and make you happy too, then I don't want to stand in the way of that. You deserve so much for all you have been through and deal with. It wouldn't be fair of me to rob you of that.

I think about you daily and miss you all the time. I know you don't think I loved you and left to be with someone else but it isn't true at all. I left for a lot of reasons one of which was really important to me. I wanted to get a real job and make it on my own so I could be more than your girlfriend. I wanted to be your equal. I wanted to know that I could support us both if it ever had to come to that. Being in NY wasn't allowing that to happen because I couldn't get a legitimate job and I couldn't get good insurance unless we got married. You couldn't give me a definitive answer about marriage, just someday. Until I can fulfill getting a job and supporting myself I can't come back to NY yet. I don't know how long that will take, but I have to risk it.

I do worry about losing you altogether. I worry about everything but I don't know what else to do. Some things I look back on and think that leaving was for the best. You were not around enough for me the last couple months. You stopped saying you loved me. You stopped wanting to have sex. They are not good signs. I don't know if you were cheating or not. It doesn't matter to me now, it just makes me wonder if you were why you were so harsh to me.

I really wish I could send this to you personally and find all the answers to all my questions myself but you wanted no contact. I don't think you will find this here either, but it feels good to just put this out there anyway.

Buddy gets bigger all the time and is a real handful. Sometimes I don't know if I can do it myself but I don't know how I could give him away either. I feel like he was our baby and if I got rid of him it would get rid of you too.

I haven't been seeing anyone since I have been home. I just can't bring myself to do it. I tried but I cried too much and got freaked out and cancelled the "date". You can't be replaced. Inspite all of our problems I would still work them out. I just have to do this part for me and hope that you haven't moved so far in life without me. If you do I will probably hate you for a little while but I will always wish you the best deep in my heart. You are a wonderful man and deserve only the best.

I love you so much and always will,
Brianne
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